Biennale 2006 - Capital Punishment ?

I went to the biennale at the National Museum of Singapore 2 days ago.

Exhibits are quite morbid. They even have a 58min film called "Last Supper" on execution of prisoners - Last Supper refers to the last meal eaten by the prisoners before they are executed.

I walked into the makeshift theatre in the middle of the show....a Thai Prison Officer was talking, describing what kind of food prisoners would ask to eat, but would actually eat very little of it. It is understandable. Who can? The left over food are given to the Monks. Then they interviewed the Monk who explained the significance of offering food to the deceased. It then switched from streets of Thailand to a spanking new kitchen in America. A nicely dressed chef was washing and slicing carrots and onions, preparing that 'Last Supper' for a prisoner. As he goes about preparing onion rings, he described the execution - how it is actually quite painful even though some said it isn't. The camera went back to Thailand. This time inside the execution chamber. There is a microphone above the execution bed, to record any last words that the prisoners may have. I noticed a CCTV at the corner of the room. The execution bed is in black leather with stripes - possibly to hold the prisoners down. The executor watches the execution from the next room fitted with a large glass panel so he has a full view of the execution. He goes on to describe rapid eye movements of the prisoner after execution - and explained that this means there is brain activity.

At this point, which is about 10 min into the show, I left.

Although there was no execution or image of any prisoner to be executed, the queasy feeling in my stomache grew as I left the room. It is not natural to take a person's life - It has changed my view towards capital punishment.

I told my welsh colleague about it and we had a short but interesting discussion on capital punishment.

There is an interesting article in www.yawningbread.org on "The case of Iwuchukwu Amara Tochi".

And it reminded me of the case of Van Tuong Nguyen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nguyen_Tuong_Van) , who was executed in Dec 2005 for in possession of drugs whilst he was in Singapore and was in transit to Australia. I followed the case quite closely and when all pleas for clemency failed - my heart wept and it wept for his mother. I was undecided then whether drug trafficking - which could cause harm to many and break up families - deserve capital punishment. Now, I am quite crystal clear about it.

I emailed my good friend,who is an art curator, after watching the show and she replied:

'Well, the fact that you even emailed about the works should make the organisers thrilled that the artworks had such an effect. Art is about transformative powers - so if you were to be anti-death penalty after watching the last supper, the art work would be immensely successful. I haven't seen the piece yet - ......... The Last Supper is supposed to be a highlight work there - from your description, it's one that I shouldnt miss.'

I guess the artwork was pretty successful.


p.s.

There is another large exbibit sandwiched between 2 glass and was emitting light transmitted real time from Japan to Singapore - the light is from supernova activities of a cosmic stars which took millions of years for its light to travel to the earth - it is about ending (the star) and birth (of new planets). I just need some time to think about this one.

Kai turned 6!

Kai turned 6 on 28th July 2006.

He likes to hear me tell him the story of the day he was born and I saw him teary eyed when I finished the story....he is such a sweet boy.

Back to 6 years ago, around about late July 2000. Our Obstetrician, Dr Seng Kwang Meng had diagnosed me with pregnancy induced high blood pressure. What this could lead to is pre-eclampsia, meaning premature detachment of baby from the womb walls leading to foetus death. He has thus suggested to induce the baby earlier rather than later. My estimated date of delivery or EDD was 5 Aug 2000.

So Dr Seng had told us to admit ourselves to Gleneagles' Hospital on 27 July 2000 at 8pm. But Wey, who was working for his father at that time, did not return home until 8 or 9pm. I was worried that we were running late but Wey said, 'no hurry since you are not yet in labour.' So Wey took a shower, and we went to ANA Hotel (now no longer in existence due to development) and had a good meal. I felt almost like it was going to be my last meal because as a new mother-to-be, I did not know what to expect for confinement - so many people had told me so many things that I can or cannot do, can or cannot eat.

When we finally arrived at the hospital, it was way past 10pm, almost 11pm. The nurse was flustered and said that we should have kept to Dr Seng's instruction to admit by 8pm - still we wonder what was the big deal - as Wey rightly pointed out - I was not yet in labour.

After changing into the hospital gown, I had 2 straps strapped across my stretched tummy. I was told one was to monitor the baby's movement, the other to monitor the baby's heartbeat. I was told not to move otherwise, the nurses are not able to monitor properly. I was told to lay on one side after they have detected the baby's heartbeat. It was very uncomfortable to be in one's full term but yet having to lie in one position for more than 10 minutes. The baby was probably swimming in my tummy because what was suppose to take 30 minutes, took more than an hour. The nurses said that I have a very active baby who wouldn't be still. Now I started to regret not coming into the hospital earlier because I was so sleepy while all these tests were still on-going. Finally, they inserted a pill inside me and asked me to go to sleep. As a single room was not available that night, we were asked to stay in a double room, so Wey & I had to share a bed. I tried to squeeze myself into one side so Wey will be comfortable. I remember that he feel asleep first and I had to cover him with blanket so he wouldn't be cold.

I was woken up just before 6am by the nurses. They came to check on my dilation and told me that I had not yet dilated and inserted a drip into my arm for further induction. They then pushed me into the delivery ward - I recall feeling really scared - not knowing what to expect.

The nurse asked me if I wanted epidural - I said yes to whatever would reduce the pain that I thought was coming. She curved me into a ball - not easy to do with a bloated tummy - and inserted a needle into my lower back. I didn't dare to move one bit and I felt a strange uncomforatble feeling as the epidural was injected into me. Shortly, I lost consciousness of my lower body. Wey sat beside me watching TV with me.

Suddenly, my mother-in-law appeared in the delivery suite. I was both surprised to see her and touched that she had come all the way to see me. She made comments on how cold the deliver suite was and noted that Wey did not have a sweater to keep himself warm - well, I suppose a mother will always be a mother. About 5-10 minutes after she arrived, the nurses found out about her and told her that she has to leave because she is not allowed in the delivery ward, only the husband is allowed. As the nurse had also said that it may take another 10 hours before the baby is delivered, I told Wey to give her a ride home. I also know that Wey will be more comfortable if he goes home to take a shower. So they went, and I was left alone in the delivery suite.

Very shortly (I have now lost all consciousness of time) after Wey and his mother left, Dr Seng came in to check on me. He took a look and said no good and instructed the nurses to prepare me for C-section. The nurse later explained to me that there are contractions (which I didn't feel at all as I'd lost feeling of my lower body) but I have not dilated at all. What this means is that oxygen is being cut off from the baby but he is not making progress down the birth canal. She said maybe my hip bone is too small.

I nearly flipped when she said that because I have been told all my life that I have a huge hip - according to the Chinese - a hip that is very good for child birth. Now I know that it is all old wives' tale.

The nurse also told me that she needs to hurry to book an operating theatre for me. Reason being that the ghost month is days' away and many who do not want their child to be born in the ghost month, are choosing to have c-section to have their child born earlier. I could not believe what I heard! I guess we learn something new everyday.

The nurse brought in a consent form for the operation for Wey to sign. She could not find him and asked me where he is. I was almost afraid to tell her that Wey has gone home - well, it is partly her fault because she had told me that it may take another 10 hours before full dilation! So I had to sign the consent form (or is it an indemnity form? I don't really know) myself. I asked her to pass me a phone so that I can call Wey to come back.

She was too busy preparing & cleaning me for the operation. Of couse I could not see what she was doing as the view down there is blocked by the tummy. When she was finally done, I asked for the phone again. I dialled a few times but Wey did not pick up the phone. Later, I found out that he and his mother had gone shopping for a plastic pail ( I forgot what it was for) before going home and when I called, his phone was on silent mode and he was in the shower.

So there I was, lonely and afraid as I was wheeled into the operating theatre (OT). I was sobbing because I was afraid and I swore that I will not have another baby ever.

I saw Dr Seng inside the OT and he reassured me - I cried even more.

Someone tried to put a mask over my mouth and I pushed her away cause I was so nervious I could not breathe. She tried again and told me to calm down. Then someone else tried to poke a needle into my left arm, I turned to see and as I felt the needle pricking my arm, I lost consciousness.

...................


I felt someone pushing me, waking me up. I could not see as I was not wearing my glasses. As I woke, I felt so calm that I have never felt in my entire life. Sub-consciously, I knew the operation was over. I fell in and out of sleep as the nurse pushed me outside to meet Wey - He had asked to see me (so sweet :-) ). He had returned to the hospital on time to see the baby as he is being brought out of the OT for checking. As I was still floatin in and out of consciousness, I remember mumbling to him, asking him "how was the baby". He said baby was alright and I fell back to sleep. The nurse pushed me back to the recovery room and sometime later, I was brought back to my room.

When I finally regained consciousness, I wanted to see the baby immediately. When he was brought to me, I thought he was a very good looking baby, very peaceful, but I did not immediately bond with this stranger who had been staying inside my body, going to meetings at work with me, kicking my inside with his little feet and punching me with his little fist.

What was amazing was that I had prayed to God for a happy baby when I conceived Kai, and it is amazing how many people had commented that he looks like a happy baby.

Wey also told me that he cried when he saw Kai for the first time outside the delivery ward. That was the sweetest thing that Wey has ever said to me.

.................................................

So this is the last year that we are celebrating Kai's birthday at his Kindergarten, because after this year, they will be going to different primary schools.

It is all his fault!

I ran into my mother's distant relative near my office today. She is my mother's elder sister's husband's mother's sister's daughter - well, go figure!

As she walked towards me, I flashed a smile at her, since my 1-out-of-4million-smiles is not reserved for ang-mohs only. And I politely addressed her "Hi Auntie!". She looked at me for a while and I had to introduce myself "eh....I am 4th aunt's 2nd daughter...." She said "ah! yes! yes! wa! you are "pui" hor! very nice!"

Excuse me, but who greets another woman species by telling her that she is fat? Did she think that I would be flattered? Or that I may mistaken it as a compliment? I excused myself and left and swear never to acknowledge any of my mom's distant relatives again! Well next time, I could greet her like this :

"hello auntie, wah! long time no see, you are very old hor?"
"hello auntie, yes I am fat, but you are single!"

Or I may just simply ignore her.

There is another of couple, friends of mine from University - they married each other. No wonder they are the same. Each will take turns to say to me "you put on weight hor! ha! ha! ha!" or "wa! very fat hor!" Being the good natured person that I am, I just ignored them but still call them friends. Or I could tell them off : "Excuse me, you are also very fat!" But we will still be friends. I wonder why we choose to be friends with people who are mean to us? Well that is another story for another time.

Hey! I have the license to be fat - I am a mother of 2 boys. My tummy has been stretched twice to many times its size when I conceived my 2 boys. Can someone give me a break? Can you please stop commenting on my weight already?

A small voice in my head says - but Wong Li Lin is so slim and she also has 2 kids!

Hey! But I am not Wong Li Lin ok?! Do you really need to rub it in?

I read about Olinda in the newspaper the other day - she said she will always have some flesh. Well, some flesh is nice. My husband said he doesn't like skinny girls - like Fiona Xie and some other TV celebrities, he's always said that they are too scrawny for his liking. So maybe that's why he is attracted to me as I have always been on the chubby side.

But he is also making comments.

I asked him one day "B, Am I fat?"
He said "A bit."
I frowned and said "You should not have said that. You should have said, you are not fat, you are the mother of my 2 lovely boys and I think you look very pretty!"
He said "You are not fat, you are the mother of my 2 lovely boys and I think you look very pretty!"
I said "That's not counted because I told you what to say"
He said "Oh man! You are so hard to please!"

It is not that I am not doing anything about the weight. In fact, it has got nothing to do about the weight, it has got everything to do with what pregnancy do to your tummy. One of my friends, who has had 3 babies, has very skinny hands and legs, but she still looks 5 months pregnant (this is what she said, not me). She told me that she has to be conscious of keeping her tummy in when riding in the MRT or risks being mistaken as pregnant and the embarassment of someone giving up their seat for her. But really, she shouldn't worry. Singaporeans don't give up their seat so easily on the MRT, I can be witness to that.

But honestly, since I can no longer fit into many of my pants, I have been consciously cutting down on my food and carbohydrate intake. For instance, instead of my beloved 2 slices of peanut butter sandwich, I cut down to one, and now I just have an apple for breakfast. Instead of having dinner, I resort to just drinking soup for 2 weeks, sometime I eat less but I cannot resist my mother-in-law's fried chicken, wheat prawns and curry - they are simply too sedap!

Well, just the other day, I drank an energy drink for dinner and proudly told my maid that that is all I am having for dinner. Later that night, we were at the airport to send a relative off. After that, Wey wanted to eat something as he was hungry. We ended up at Popeye Chicken at Terminal 1 - and I have 2 pieces of Fried Chicken because it smelled so good.

So who's fault is it that I am what I weigh?

It is all Wey's fault!

Primary School Registration - an anticlimax

There's been on-going discussions on registering our son for primary school since Kai turned 5 last year - right after his party at MacDonald's and right after he blew out the candles on his Star Wars birthday cake.

The well meaning Nai Nai - a recently retired teacher - has this to say:
'I think you should just send him to St Stephens or maybe Tao Nan. ACS is too far from our house. Do you know how early he needs to wake up? Do you know what time he gets home after school? Do you know what is the travelling distance? Do you know this is a long term commitment? Poor boy. Hmmm...I wonder if I can get my grandson into TaoNan if I do relief teaching there? By the way, here is Wey's ACS report card I took out from the safe - over to you.'

The well meaning mother's network - those who doesn't think primary school education can make or break their child - has this to say:
'Just send him to a school that is nearby. It is easier for the kid, it is less stressful for the parent. It doesn't matter, if the child is good, he will do well regardless of the school he goes to. Why need to travel so far? How is he going to get home when he has to stay back for CCA?'

The well meaning mother's network - those who think primary school education can make or break their child - has this to say:
'If you don't want to travel too far, Tao Nan is a good school. Oh ! you didn't join Hokkien Huey Kuan 2 years ago? I think the policy has changed - cannot already - too late if your boy is going to Primary School next year. Oh and you didn't volunteer either? Tsk! tsk! tsk!!! How about Maris Stella? I think they have Higher Chinese (Me : Huh? What's that?).'

One of Wey's colleague said this:
'I want my daughter to go to Rosyth. So I wanted to volunteer at the school. The school said - we have too many volunteers, can you do weekdays? I said - I have to work. The school said - Hmmm....How about lunch time. So, I have to drive to the school during lunch time for the next 2 years - for a chance to ballot to get into the school.'

Oh God! What should we do? Please give me a sign!

One of the teachers at Kindergarten said:
'Your son is a all rounder, he can do very well, you should push him to reach his limits. ACS is a good school, don't worry about the travel distance.'

Another teacher at the Kindergarten said:
'Many of our students go to ACS, don't worry, travel distance no problem. Good choice!'

Are these signs, God?

I went to see the principal:
She was not around.

Wey's ACS mates said:
'Our sons are all in ACS - yours going to St Stephens? '

I was totally confused - this is a decision that we are going to make that will affect my son for the rest of his life. Can Kai wake up to catch the school bus at 5.55am? Oh dear! He can't even wake up for his Chinese Tuition at 9.30am. Will Wey wake up to send his son to school as he promised he will do? What time will he reach home? Will he be hungry? So how WILL he get home if he has to stay back for CCA? St Stephens sounds like a perfectly good choice to me - it is less than 10 minutes walk from our house.

I needed to talk to Wey - what does he think?

Wey was crystal clear about what he wanted - his son to be an ACS boy just like him - what else?

12 July 2006
Wey checked the MOE Website - 108 vacancies left out of 270 spaces for ACS. Kai was born in the year of the dragon and also the Millenium Year - a popular year to have a child - Do we stand a chance?

13 July 2006
The day finally came - we are in Phase 2 A (2) - Those children whose father is an ex-boy.

I was full of ancticipation - I could not hide my excitement, my heart was pounding the whole morning and I could not help telling my colleagues, and I don't care if they wanted to know- 'I am on half day leave, I am registering my son for Primary School today.'

All advice taken into consideration, we headed towards ACS with our 2 boys - including the younger brother En, who is 3.

Our I/Cs - checked. Birthcert - checked. Wey's ACS report card - checked. We are on our way.

I was so excited, this is going to be a new experience for my son, as much as it is for me. I didn't want to miss a minute of it - But En, our younger boy, needed to pee as soon as our car was parked.

Being a typical Singaporean, and thinking that there would be a queue of parents fighting to register their son into the school, I urged Wey and Kai on, while I brough En to pee. And then we made our way - following the signs - up the lift - down the corridor - up the stairs - to the other side - up another lift - finally reached the school library - where registration was done. I saw them, already at the table filling out forms. Where are the other parents? Where is the queue?

'Can I have your I/C madam?' The lady asked politely.

'Of course', I said, still could not believe that there was no queue.

'Let me make a copy of this, altogether 60 cents, thank you, madam.'

What? I have to pay for this? Why don't they ask me to make copies? There was nothing mentioned on the MOE website.

Ok nevermind about the 60 cents - 'when will I know if my son will get in' - I asked another man at the counter.

'Please check our website. There will be a list and your son's name will be on the list with his birthcert number.'

'Really? I have never seen this before? Are you sure?'

'Er...maybe you can check with the lady over there.'

'Hi there, how will I know if my son will get in?'

She pat me gently on my shoulders, smiled and said sympathetically 'Don't worry, should be no problem.'

As we walked out of the library, I felt a sense of sadness overwhelming me. The same kind of disappointment that one would feel after a 3 months holiday to Europe - and now it is time to get back to work. It is what you would call - an anticlimax. I asked Wey 'You mean That's It?' The whole registration exercise took no more than 5 minutes. Wey said - 'Isn't that good? Let's go eat Waffle & ice cream.' I wasn't sure, I was in a daze.

Over the next few days, we diligently checked MOE's website http://www.moe.gov.sg/esp/schadm/p1/availablevacancies.htm

And finally, on 20 July 2006, we received a letter from ACS - we're in :-) Praise the Lord.

Congratulations, Kai.

I told my son - this is as much as Daddy & Mommy can do for you - the rest is up to you.

And then I thought - Hmmm, we may have just secured a place in ACS for my future grandson.